Feeling nothing is not natural. Not many are born
without joy or hatred. Emotions are not switches to be turned on and off
at one’s will. They are lenses of colored glass held up to the eye
through which the world
starkly contrasts itself.
When you get to the point where your emotions are all out of whack and you smile instead of cry, or just apologize because you can’t deal with losing anyone else, your world becomes filled with mixed emotions.
In this state, eyes are dull without feeling
and lips move to soundless words
because nothing has meaning.
Living life in a colorless world for a lost soul results in moving through each day trying to get through the day with great effort…but knowing you’re heading towards the nothingness ahead can be overbearing and can cause an unbearable feeling of being alone….Every situation is more intense and every situation involving loved ones, friends, and even your professional life can make it seem like all is lost when one thing goes wrong.
It’s hard living life, but each day you wake up…it has to be for a positive reason right??
By now she imagines
that her envy must have a flavor
Bitter orange and arsenic,
or apple peels and dust
It’s hard to be content
when she sees better all around
Unattainable, out of reach,
like sweet ripe fruit just above her head
she can’t change anything real, so
she will change her hair, change her dress, change her ideas
And hope nobody notices the plain old her
still hiding underneath
she feels like a brown-grey caterpillar
so how come, after so many years
a butterfly yet?
Can you please lift the curse?
She asked while looking at his pictures
She isn’t able to escape,
The songs she listen to, the movies she watches, and the books she reads
All appear to conspire against her
To remind her of his face in one way or another
She can even hear the memories talking through the wall
Sadness weighs her down like anchor weighs a ship down to the sand