I hate this spinning
that spawns in my chest
bit of my
that ends in each inch
spinning in different
to where I can’t figure
if my feet are up
if my heart is thumping
if this world is a
because there is
and I am
(An old poem)
Do you ever feel like you’re fighting an unwinnable battle
Nothing you do will ever be right
Nothing you do will ever be good enough
Things will never pan out
You will never get what you want out of life
You can try with all of your heart
And all of your soul
But you are just not meant to succeed
You are not meant to be happy
The moments you experience
Only provided to tease you
To show you what you’re missing
To show you what you don’t deserve
To remind you what you’ll never truly have
(wrote this poem few years ago)
Feeling nothing is not natural. Not many are born
without joy or hatred. Emotions are not switches to be turned on and off
at one’s will. They are lenses of colored glass held up to the eye
through which the world
starkly contrasts itself.
When you get to the point where your emotions are all out of whack and you smile instead of cry, or just apologize because you can’t deal with losing anyone else, your world becomes filled with mixed emotions.
In this state, eyes are dull without feeling
and lips move to soundless words
because nothing has meaning.
Living life in a colorless world for a lost soul results in moving through each day trying to get through the day with great effort…but knowing you’re heading towards the nothingness ahead can be overbearing and can cause an unbearable feeling of being alone….Every situation is more intense and every situation involving loved ones, friends, and even your professional life can make it seem like all is lost when one thing goes wrong.
It’s hard living life, but each day you wake up…it has to be for a positive reason right??